Gareth the Knight

Gareth was a knight. He rode a cheese horse with a banana skin saddle. His livery was livers and his lance was an old licorice stick. They called him The Stale Knight. He would ride from town to town despatching villains and rescuing damsels in distress. He worked several towns over and over again, as the issue with a licorice lance was that it didn't tend to kill people so much as stun them. It was a convenient arrangement as several dastardly types got to kidnap and ravish maidens repeatedly, then Gareth got to rescue them. The maidens didn't think much of this though, and were thoroughly tired of Gareth and his extremely ordinary approach to rescue. So they hired a piper to draw in all the mice and rats in the region. The next time Gareth rode in, the rodents chewed up his horse and saddle and lance. In fact, the only thing they left him was his underwear. He was extremely embarrassed, but the girls were not so cruel as to leave him that way. They had slowly been stealing coins and jewels from the villains who kidnapped them. They had pooled their resources and bought Gareth a real horse, armour and a sword. So they dressed him up as a real knight and told him bluntly he'd either better start dispatching the knaves who tormented them or they'd be calling on a wizard to turn him into a newt. No longer a creature of fantasy, Gareth quickly set about slaughtering the evil in the land. The people rejoiced and the King gave him a castle and set him as Knight Protector of the land. And everyone lived happily ever after. Except for Edam, Gareth's cheese horse, who was dead.